I give..

Sometimes in life there are times when you just throw your hands up and say "ok, I give"- well tonight for me is one of those times. My head and heart are so twisted with doubt and fear and worry and regret and shame and any other emotion you can think of that I can barely even see strait. 

Where is that line? Where is the line between what you are willing to forgo to ensure someone else's happiness while ensuring your misery? When is it ok to be selfish or to put your needs over someone else's? I have lost myself and my faith and my trust in my own heart & I don't know how to regain those things. 

The worst part for me is that these losses haven't been due to some horrible life experience or one big major thing.. It's been small things that have just built up over time and it seems like I just looked up and poof.. Gone. And so for tonight at least, I give.. Whatever life throws, I'll take it. My shoulders are pretty big, at least that's how they feel with all the weight that's on them, so just keep piling it on.. I'll either crumble or come out with really toned legs..

-S