Reflection

Have you ever had a moment or span of time in your life where you are just surviving? Surviving from one hour to the next, one morning to the afternoon, or one day to the next? I feel as if I am in that season of survival. I normally with very well under pressure or with high levels of stress, but I have found myself in tears under the weight of such stress here lately. When one area of my life is complicated and messy, I can usually throw myself into the other parts of my life to kind of balance out the emotion and clear my head, but that isn't the case as of right now. All areas of my life seem complicated and messy and there doesn't seem to be a comfortable or comforting place to just .. be. I know it is just another "season" but I am VERY ready for this season to pass. And so, I write (or type in this case)

Part of my "first year Ohio teaching" is to keep a "journal" or a log of related topics throughout the year. We have all been paired up with mentors for the first couple of years to try to help with the transition into this life. Brecka, my mentor, has given me my first reflection topic & since I "journal" here already, I've decided that this is how I will keep up with those entries- 

When you are planning a lesson, are you planning for a group or are you planning on each student to gain a skill? what effect will that have on your lesson? 

 This has actually changed for me over the course of my teaching. The smaller my class, the more individual attention I can give them, thus the better my lesson . I started out (even this year) tailoring my lessons to each individual becoming/doing the best that they could do.. playing up each student's strengths. But I have quickly found that with 30 students and a very cramped work space that that specific way of teaching doesn't provide very consistent results. I haven't really found my footing yet when it comes to being in 10 places at once or trying to get each student to just finish 1 sauce!! I know it's a fluctuation of emotions, like a big roller coaster, and I'd like to say that I teach to each individual student because I do believe each student has potential to at least get better/be better.. I just haven't found the balance of how to direct a lab full of students in ALL aspects of the education process & ability. Today i feel like I suck as a teacher 😕 I'm sure tomorrow will be better, at least I hope it will! Sorry for the sour note this evening.. more later