so much to tell.. too much really for one post, so I will try to make it short and sweet.
I have enjoyed being a stay at home mom for the last few months, I've really enjoyed my dedicated time to my heart.. my fenway. with that being said, I have gotten restless & have been for some time now. After the Le Cordon Bleu job didn't work out, I was heart broken and pretty down on myself. I REALLY wanted that job & literally had it in my hands, but had to let it go for what was best for my family at the time. but.. the restlessness didn't go away. it got stronger in fact.
That restlessness, prayers, and God's little push/shove in the direction I believe He is leading us is...Hamilton, OHIO.. yes, you read it. OHIO - a teaching position with Butler Tech, specifically D. Russel Lee Career and Technology program. We went up this past week (Kelvin, Fenway & myself) took the 14 hour drive up for my face to face interview & teaching a class. Apparently they LOVED me & I got the job offered on the spot. SO, in a mater of weeks we will be moving across te the coutry where no one knows us & starting a new job that I am going to LOVE. I'm finding it pretty amazing when you are able to just wait.. wait on God.. on His answers.. on His timing. That has been and will continue to be my prayer through all of this. If this is your path, shove me through it! open the doors and gates and lead us through. Also help the transition be easy and smooth. Show me what it is that you have me to do here- and trust that You are the ultimate dream maker- This is my dream and we are following in your footsteps behind any open doors!
More later, once my head has time to deflate!!
-S
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
silver lining in a dark cloud
I wrote yesterday about the dog that had gone missing after he & his owner were in a fatal car wreck on Sunday & that everyone in our community was out searching for him - HE WAS FOUND TODAY! safe & sound - he was spotted near the wreck site this afternoon, so his breeder took his (Duke the dog) father out there & called for him & Duke came right to them. I know it's just a dog, but to know that he will be living with his owners daughters and can bring them some type of comfort & he wasn't hurt or killed in the accident as well is very heartwarming. They found him in time to take him to the visitation/viewing of Jeff this evening. There were literally hundreds of people out looking for this pooch. I myself went out this morning when someone spotted a "look alike" & searched for awhile. It is so weird that such a tramatic event can bring so many people together. It sparked a deep discussion between Kelvin & I tonight about our thoughts on the subject & what would happen should we or someone we know go missing & so on. It got heated, but was in the long run a very good discussion. I hope you all take the time out to hug your loved ones.. tell them you love them each and every time you leave, you really never know when it could be your last..
-Sara
-Sara
Monday, March 2, 2015
at a loss with no understanding
anytime someone dies suddenly, whether it be from an accident or an unexpected illness it devastates me. Even if I do not know the person well or at all, just hearing about it and the family & loved ones that are left behind just absolutely breaks my heart. Over the past month 4 people that I know of have died suddenly. I want to pay tribute to them here, even though I didn't know them personally, I know what it is to be the loved one grieving & reeling from the sudden disappearance of your loved one.
Kevin Guy, 28 - father of 3 (2 boys, one being 7 months old & a girl) husband to wife Angie - He caught a crazy, rare, bacterial pneumonia from hunting & his lungs shut down. He fought very hard but God had other plans for him. My heart, tears, & prayers go to his wife & mostly his children. I know what it is to lose a father @ such a young age. It's something they will live with FOREVER
Eddie Pettigrew- 48 - father of 4, stepfather of 3. He was the husband of a former church member & mother of an old friend. He was on blood pressure medication & wasn't watching his diet.. he had a stroke & it killed him. His wife, Angela, has a 3 year old little boy (all their other children are adults) and just decided to be a stay at home mom about a year ago.. Their entire world is upside down, not to mention other major family issues that she has had to endure over the past 3-4 years. I just don't understand sometimes how God and lay so much on one person's shoulders. I understand the premise is "give it to God, He will walk you through it" and so on, and I believe that, BUT I still don't understand the hardships that some of us, some of you, walk through on a daily basis.. while others (not so great people) seem to get off scot free. I know that's not "really" the case in the long run, when it comes to eternity and so on, but that doesn't make our life here on earth any easier.. just saying.
The last two were killed YESTERDAY in a head on collision in my home town (where I had my near fatal wreck 12 years ago)
Jeff Crosswhite - 50's - Jeff was apparently a VERY beloved man in our town. He owned one of the local Crawfish Huts & played softball. Social media is going NUTS over the loss of this man, father, & friend. His dog, a boxer named Duke, was with him when the wreck happened & was not found ANYWHERE on scene so there is a literal manhunt/doghunt going on for this dog. People that have no idea who this guy is/was have come out to hunt & look hoping to find him to return him to Jeff's daughters in the deepest time of grieving. If we lived closer to the area I would be right there with them. Something about animals bonds people together. It is amazing to see how a community will come together to help those grieving around them. All I can say is that I hope that when my time does come that my family receives the same kind of outpouring of love that this family has received & that I am spoken of as highly as Jeff is and will continue to be. Prayers & love for his family & those grieving his loss.
Daniel Squibb - 17 - there are no words to describe a pain this deep. I was 16 when I had my near fatal wreck & remember the anguish my mom went through those first few hours when I was in and out of consciousness. I can not imagine what his family is going through right now. I REALLY don't understand this.. I will never understand someone so young with so much to live for being taken. I know accidents happen and yada yada but why can't they happen to someone who deserves them to happen to?! Why not some 90 year old who had lived a full life, why not a crack head that doesn't want to live, why not someone who desperately wants to die & begs to die on a daily basis just to escape this life.. why take a happy, healthy, teenager that has his whole life in front of him?! once again, I have no words..
I am a Christian, I am saved, I believe that upon my death I will rise with my savior Jesus Christ & live forever in the kingdom of heaven. but just because I am all of those thing & believe all of those things doesn't mean that I don't have the right to be angry. It doesn't mean that I don't have the right to not understand & question God about why. Does my anger & questioning make Him any less of a God or me any less of a believer?! No. It makes Him God & me HUMAN. I wish people would stop saying "He'll never give you more than you can handle" - THAT IS A LOAD OF BS - and.. someone please show me in the Bible where that is quoted - you can't, because IT'S NOT! God will never give you more than HE can handle.. but not you.
So tonight, I am angry & sad & mad & grieving for those that have lost loved ones too soon & for the children that will grow up without a father because it is hard & it only gets harder as you get older. I will always question why God, why this person and why now.. We were not made to understand such things, but that's ok because God knows that. He does not get angry with our anger or resentful with our questions. I know there is a bigger plan, a bigger picture that my humanness can't see until I am with my father (and my dad/granddad/grandmother) in my eternal home, but sometimes I really just wish I could get a glimpse.. to know what it all means.. to know that it's not all for nothing.
So for those of you out there reading (there has to be at least one.. I hope..maybe?!) please say a quick prayer for these families.. they are hurting more than anyone can imagine & this is something everyone can do no matter who you are or whether you know them or not.. let's all be a flicker of light in this very dark time -
To you Kevin, Eddie, Jeff, & Daniel - you are remembered & your families are in our thoughts & prayers.
Kevin Guy, 28 - father of 3 (2 boys, one being 7 months old & a girl) husband to wife Angie - He caught a crazy, rare, bacterial pneumonia from hunting & his lungs shut down. He fought very hard but God had other plans for him. My heart, tears, & prayers go to his wife & mostly his children. I know what it is to lose a father @ such a young age. It's something they will live with FOREVER
Eddie Pettigrew- 48 - father of 4, stepfather of 3. He was the husband of a former church member & mother of an old friend. He was on blood pressure medication & wasn't watching his diet.. he had a stroke & it killed him. His wife, Angela, has a 3 year old little boy (all their other children are adults) and just decided to be a stay at home mom about a year ago.. Their entire world is upside down, not to mention other major family issues that she has had to endure over the past 3-4 years. I just don't understand sometimes how God and lay so much on one person's shoulders. I understand the premise is "give it to God, He will walk you through it" and so on, and I believe that, BUT I still don't understand the hardships that some of us, some of you, walk through on a daily basis.. while others (not so great people) seem to get off scot free. I know that's not "really" the case in the long run, when it comes to eternity and so on, but that doesn't make our life here on earth any easier.. just saying.
The last two were killed YESTERDAY in a head on collision in my home town (where I had my near fatal wreck 12 years ago)
Jeff Crosswhite - 50's - Jeff was apparently a VERY beloved man in our town. He owned one of the local Crawfish Huts & played softball. Social media is going NUTS over the loss of this man, father, & friend. His dog, a boxer named Duke, was with him when the wreck happened & was not found ANYWHERE on scene so there is a literal manhunt/doghunt going on for this dog. People that have no idea who this guy is/was have come out to hunt & look hoping to find him to return him to Jeff's daughters in the deepest time of grieving. If we lived closer to the area I would be right there with them. Something about animals bonds people together. It is amazing to see how a community will come together to help those grieving around them. All I can say is that I hope that when my time does come that my family receives the same kind of outpouring of love that this family has received & that I am spoken of as highly as Jeff is and will continue to be. Prayers & love for his family & those grieving his loss.
Daniel Squibb - 17 - there are no words to describe a pain this deep. I was 16 when I had my near fatal wreck & remember the anguish my mom went through those first few hours when I was in and out of consciousness. I can not imagine what his family is going through right now. I REALLY don't understand this.. I will never understand someone so young with so much to live for being taken. I know accidents happen and yada yada but why can't they happen to someone who deserves them to happen to?! Why not some 90 year old who had lived a full life, why not a crack head that doesn't want to live, why not someone who desperately wants to die & begs to die on a daily basis just to escape this life.. why take a happy, healthy, teenager that has his whole life in front of him?! once again, I have no words..
I am a Christian, I am saved, I believe that upon my death I will rise with my savior Jesus Christ & live forever in the kingdom of heaven. but just because I am all of those thing & believe all of those things doesn't mean that I don't have the right to be angry. It doesn't mean that I don't have the right to not understand & question God about why. Does my anger & questioning make Him any less of a God or me any less of a believer?! No. It makes Him God & me HUMAN. I wish people would stop saying "He'll never give you more than you can handle" - THAT IS A LOAD OF BS - and.. someone please show me in the Bible where that is quoted - you can't, because IT'S NOT! God will never give you more than HE can handle.. but not you.
So tonight, I am angry & sad & mad & grieving for those that have lost loved ones too soon & for the children that will grow up without a father because it is hard & it only gets harder as you get older. I will always question why God, why this person and why now.. We were not made to understand such things, but that's ok because God knows that. He does not get angry with our anger or resentful with our questions. I know there is a bigger plan, a bigger picture that my humanness can't see until I am with my father (and my dad/granddad/grandmother) in my eternal home, but sometimes I really just wish I could get a glimpse.. to know what it all means.. to know that it's not all for nothing.
So for those of you out there reading (there has to be at least one.. I hope..maybe?!) please say a quick prayer for these families.. they are hurting more than anyone can imagine & this is something everyone can do no matter who you are or whether you know them or not.. let's all be a flicker of light in this very dark time -
To you Kevin, Eddie, Jeff, & Daniel - you are remembered & your families are in our thoughts & prayers.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
I got my wish -
Monday I had said that our "sleety/freeze" day was just a tease & that I wanted to have at least 1 REAL snow day this year like we have had every other year since I can remember.. well today was that day! It started snowing around 9am and didn't stop until 4ish this afternoon! It was such a fantastic day, except that Kelvin still had to go to work =( Fenway & I made an upside down snowman (he was standing on his head!) sadly he got tired and fell over a few hours later.. we made snow ice cream, Kota got to run & play in the snow, it was beautiful, there are pics posted all over social media of families out together having a good old fashioned family snow day. all the schools were closed & most people were off of work. It was great to see everyone unplug for awhile & spend some good quality time together. I'll post our pics later once my phone finishes updating & I can move them over to our computer. Kelvin's mom came over for awhile tonight and we played and - played and played and played some more (there may have been a glass of wine & a wine cooler thrown in there too.. hehe) but overall, it was my wish come true. Sadly, over 7,000 people in the surrounding area are without power. Our local churches & Red Cross have setup shelters around the area for those that don't have any heat & some schools have closed again tomorrow because of this. Thankfully we DO have power, but I was prepared anyway!! You really never know when some type of disaster or emergency may hit & with a little one with us now, I can't be over prepared. Hope you all are having a warm & cozy night -
-Sara
-Sara
Monday, February 23, 2015
cold & sleety..
I dunno if "sleety" is an actual word, I doubt it, but you get the gist! So in Texarkana, when the weather even starts to look like it may sleet/freezing rain/snow the entire town goes flipping nuts.. NUTS!! It was pretty funny last night & this morning reading the posts on facebook from parents about schools closing (or not closing) - it was 34-36 degrees this morning with NO PRECIPITATION & parents were pissed that school wasn't canceled! Then around 10 am it did start LIGHTLY sleeting & the entire town went crazy. Most area schools ended up letting out early (1 or 2 vs 3..) and all schools have opted for a delay start for tomorrow morning, even though it hasn't sleeted/rained/snowed for hours now. Oh the life of living in East Texas where just 2-3 days ago it was 70 degrees..
On a family note- due to pure safety precautions, Fenway has started sleeping in her own room. For over a year now she has always slept in her crib or pack & play in our room. First out of necessity (we didn't have another room @ our old house) and then because of my proctective mama bear emotions. I just liked having her in the room with us, it makes me feel so much more secure, especially when Kelvin works nights - anyway - last night I laid her down as I always do & as I was writing my last post I heard her squeal so I went to check on her. There was my 2 1/2 year old mountain climber planking on the edge of her pack & play!! she had gotten her body pillow just right & was able to scale the sides! I wish I could have gotten a picture, but safety is more important that a captured moment on film.. So, into her own room & big crib she went. I didn't sleep very well as I went to check on her every hour.. she however, did fantastic & slept through the night.
Since we're on the subject of Kelvin working nights - a few months ago I posted a rant about his not getting the job he was up for because of the misunderstanding about the "credit card" while he was on a business trip in Ohio, well, he DID get the second position!! now this is kinda hush hush still, so SHHHH! I am so incredibly proud of him & for him! They are still working out the money thing & overtime thing, but he will go from working a month on days/month on nights to M-F 7-3:30!! We get our daddy & hubby back & I am so flipping excited! He has worked his ass off for this job & he SO deserves it! He is living proof that hard work & dedication can pay off - CONGRATS KELVIN BROOK - I am so so so so so proud & happy for you.. and I love you =)
We are hoping to hear from the genetics Dr. tomorrow about Fenway's appointment with them, so fingers crossed that it's sooner rather than later-
Today's "precipitation" just kinda made me mad. I LOVE snow.. LOVE LOVE snow.. and normally we have at least 1 good snowy day a year, but today was really just a tease. So, I have my fingers crossed that we have one more actual "snow day" coming to us before winter leaves us-
What does your town do when it snows/rains/sleets/precipitates?! Are they as crazy as East TX?
Have a great evening lovelies -
-Sara
On a family note- due to pure safety precautions, Fenway has started sleeping in her own room. For over a year now she has always slept in her crib or pack & play in our room. First out of necessity (we didn't have another room @ our old house) and then because of my proctective mama bear emotions. I just liked having her in the room with us, it makes me feel so much more secure, especially when Kelvin works nights - anyway - last night I laid her down as I always do & as I was writing my last post I heard her squeal so I went to check on her. There was my 2 1/2 year old mountain climber planking on the edge of her pack & play!! she had gotten her body pillow just right & was able to scale the sides! I wish I could have gotten a picture, but safety is more important that a captured moment on film.. So, into her own room & big crib she went. I didn't sleep very well as I went to check on her every hour.. she however, did fantastic & slept through the night.
Since we're on the subject of Kelvin working nights - a few months ago I posted a rant about his not getting the job he was up for because of the misunderstanding about the "credit card" while he was on a business trip in Ohio, well, he DID get the second position!! now this is kinda hush hush still, so SHHHH! I am so incredibly proud of him & for him! They are still working out the money thing & overtime thing, but he will go from working a month on days/month on nights to M-F 7-3:30!! We get our daddy & hubby back & I am so flipping excited! He has worked his ass off for this job & he SO deserves it! He is living proof that hard work & dedication can pay off - CONGRATS KELVIN BROOK - I am so so so so so proud & happy for you.. and I love you =)
We are hoping to hear from the genetics Dr. tomorrow about Fenway's appointment with them, so fingers crossed that it's sooner rather than later-
Today's "precipitation" just kinda made me mad. I LOVE snow.. LOVE LOVE snow.. and normally we have at least 1 good snowy day a year, but today was really just a tease. So, I have my fingers crossed that we have one more actual "snow day" coming to us before winter leaves us-
What does your town do when it snows/rains/sleets/precipitates?! Are they as crazy as East TX?
Have a great evening lovelies -
-Sara
Sunday, February 22, 2015
and I'm back -
So to catch you all up on what has happened over the last several months -
I accepted the job @ Le Cordon Bleu Dallas. Kelvin & I went to find a house or apartment & to look for a nanny/sitter/daycare for Fenway. We had also decided that Kelvin was going to stay in Texarkana for awhile & continue working until he could hopefully transfer to the plant in Dallas. Long story short- EVERYTHING that could have gone wrong, did. My prayer had been "God, if this opportunity isn't the right choice, please close the door for it" and boy DID HE EVER! So, after a lot of thought & discussion, I ended up having to decline the job. I was heartbroken, still am a little, but it was what was best for our little family for now. I do feel extremely stupid for quitting my job before I knew the LCB one was a for sure thing, but I guess ya live ya learn. So for now, I am a stay at home mom/wife. It's going ok. not great, but ok. It's more of a transition than I thought it would be, plus Kelvin is working crazy hours to make up for my loss of income & that sucks. There really isn't any other job here in Texarkana that I can do, so I have thought about going to nursing school. That is another career that I am interested in & that I could make a good career of here in TK.
We did move into the house in Texarkana, AR & I love it. 2 things that I don't like about it - the back yard floods when it rains & there are wasps.. tons and tons of wasps. We have had a very warm winter & every time we have a warm day we are finding 1-4 wasps in the house. IT IS AWFUL. We have had a pest company come & spray for them but they are still here!!
Fenway had an MRI done a couple of weeks ago & we got the results. They did give us some answers. She has what is called: Chiari Malformation of the brain. This means that the cerebral tonsils (the padding in the brain that cushions the cerebellum) have herniated through the base of her skull & are being pinched. So those nerves are not working correctly & could be causing most if not all of her symptoms & delays. There may also be a back up of CFS (spinal cord fluid) but we won't know that until we meet with the specialists. There is a surgery that can be done to relieve the pressure, BUT there are some serious risks to the surgery & there is no guarantee that it would alleviate her symptoms. We will know more in the coming weeks once we get in to see the specialists. It is extremely scary & nerve wracking, but we are thankful that we finally have some answers as to what is causing the delay.
We got a dog. He's a French Mastiff named Kota & I absolutely love him. The dog hair & extra vacuuming not so much, but he is wonderful. Kelvin isn't too keen on him.. he's only ever had puppies, never a "dog" so he kinda freaks him out some. He is very well trained, but he still has some puppy in him so he barks & tries to jump & play with Fenway & kelvin doesn't like it. We may end up having to find him a new home though =( If all of this plays out with fenway the way we're afraid it will then we will have to be extra careful about her falling or getting knocked down, so with him being so big, that's an issue. I'm hoping that getting him neutered next week will help calm him down some, so we will see. I am already in love with him & will be heartbroken if we have to find him a new home, but Fenway comes first.
That's pretty much it for now.. we finally got a new computer (I had always updated from my work computer..) so I will be able to post much more often now! Will keep everyone updated on Fenway's condition as we know more. Until then - Hope your life is wonderful!
-Sara
I accepted the job @ Le Cordon Bleu Dallas. Kelvin & I went to find a house or apartment & to look for a nanny/sitter/daycare for Fenway. We had also decided that Kelvin was going to stay in Texarkana for awhile & continue working until he could hopefully transfer to the plant in Dallas. Long story short- EVERYTHING that could have gone wrong, did. My prayer had been "God, if this opportunity isn't the right choice, please close the door for it" and boy DID HE EVER! So, after a lot of thought & discussion, I ended up having to decline the job. I was heartbroken, still am a little, but it was what was best for our little family for now. I do feel extremely stupid for quitting my job before I knew the LCB one was a for sure thing, but I guess ya live ya learn. So for now, I am a stay at home mom/wife. It's going ok. not great, but ok. It's more of a transition than I thought it would be, plus Kelvin is working crazy hours to make up for my loss of income & that sucks. There really isn't any other job here in Texarkana that I can do, so I have thought about going to nursing school. That is another career that I am interested in & that I could make a good career of here in TK.
We did move into the house in Texarkana, AR & I love it. 2 things that I don't like about it - the back yard floods when it rains & there are wasps.. tons and tons of wasps. We have had a very warm winter & every time we have a warm day we are finding 1-4 wasps in the house. IT IS AWFUL. We have had a pest company come & spray for them but they are still here!!
Fenway had an MRI done a couple of weeks ago & we got the results. They did give us some answers. She has what is called: Chiari Malformation of the brain. This means that the cerebral tonsils (the padding in the brain that cushions the cerebellum) have herniated through the base of her skull & are being pinched. So those nerves are not working correctly & could be causing most if not all of her symptoms & delays. There may also be a back up of CFS (spinal cord fluid) but we won't know that until we meet with the specialists. There is a surgery that can be done to relieve the pressure, BUT there are some serious risks to the surgery & there is no guarantee that it would alleviate her symptoms. We will know more in the coming weeks once we get in to see the specialists. It is extremely scary & nerve wracking, but we are thankful that we finally have some answers as to what is causing the delay.
We got a dog. He's a French Mastiff named Kota & I absolutely love him. The dog hair & extra vacuuming not so much, but he is wonderful. Kelvin isn't too keen on him.. he's only ever had puppies, never a "dog" so he kinda freaks him out some. He is very well trained, but he still has some puppy in him so he barks & tries to jump & play with Fenway & kelvin doesn't like it. We may end up having to find him a new home though =( If all of this plays out with fenway the way we're afraid it will then we will have to be extra careful about her falling or getting knocked down, so with him being so big, that's an issue. I'm hoping that getting him neutered next week will help calm him down some, so we will see. I am already in love with him & will be heartbroken if we have to find him a new home, but Fenway comes first.
That's pretty much it for now.. we finally got a new computer (I had always updated from my work computer..) so I will be able to post much more often now! Will keep everyone updated on Fenway's condition as we know more. Until then - Hope your life is wonderful!
-Sara
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
a new opportunity..
after my last post about being restless & unhappy in the "job" area of my life, I decided to do something about it! So I posted my resume online on a few sites just to see if I would get a bite and you know what.. I DID! Several in fact! That simple fact alone helped boost my "blues" to light green or almost pink. So I'm gonna make a long story short -
Le Cordon Bleu of Dallas has a full time instructor job opening. I am up for the position. They want to have the position filled in 3 WEEKS.. yep, the start date is DECEMBER 29. that's INSANE right?! my first interview went very well & I have a second interview today with the campus director. but if all goes well, we would be packing up and moving 3ish hours away, moving fenway around to a new facility (or trying to find a nanny), I would be starting a new job (teaching), and kelvin and I would be separated during the week for a few months until he can get his job moved.. ALL IN 3 WEEKS! Plus, all this worry may be for nothing, they could choose to NOT offer me the position.. but I've got my fingers crossed. CROSS YOUR FINGERS TOO!!
It would be a wonderful opportunity. I miss teaching dearly. The pay is quite a bit more than I am making now. We want to move out of this area & somewhere new. The hours are workable with vacation & all weekends off. It's a much bigger city, so once Fenway is settled there are MANY more opportunities for her & her therapy. There is a Cooper Tire warehouse there that Kelvin could transfer to. The housing market isn't too insane (a little more than what we rent for now..) so all in all it is a great opportunity, BUT, I am still scared! This would be huge.. and IN 3 WEEKS.. I think that is the thing that has me freaking out a bit, that I don't have time to really assess and make a plan and execute. And then my mind reverts back to : dude, they haven't formally offered you the job yet so quit freaking out!! - AHHHHHAAAHHHH!
Ok, i'm done =) My interview is @ 3:00 today, I'll let you lovelies know how it goes - FINGERS CROSSED XX
-Sara
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)