.Hick's Haven. : family or something like it..

So I know all families have their issues & drama, it just goes with the territory. A little of our family history -

My dad died when I was 8 & my mom never remarried. My grandparents (dad's parents) played a MAJOR roll in my life, they helped raise me and my brother. I owe a lot of my way of life & values to them. My mom & I are polar opposites when it comes to most everything! We really started being able to have a good relationship about 10 years ago when I moved out to start culinary school in Austin. She's very "hands off" when it comes to her grandchildren. I think they scare her a little bit. plus, she is kinda flighty (in the best way possible) but she gets distracted easily & is nervous around little kids that can't really take care of themselves. She's never kept Fenway at her house or anything like that.

Kelvin's family - His mom and dad split when he was a teenager, VERY bad blood there. His mom is young (early 40's) and has a life of her own, meaning she has a boyfriend that has a young daughter that she is "mothering" now so she doesn't really make time for Fenway. We get the every so often "hey how ya doing, I miss her" text but nothing really more than that. When Fenway was an infant she was wonderful, came and stayed at the house or kept her a couple times a month so Kelvin and I could have some time together, but .. then life happened I guess & she's entitled to her own life.

Kelvin's Dad & family - He remarried just a few years ago, about the time Kelvin & I got together. His stepmom is actually a woman I grew up with! Her kids & I went to school together, talk about small world. All together they have 4 grandchildren & a son that's 3. They have kept Fenway once or twice when I didn't have any other choice but to ask them. They're busy & we're an hour away so it's just one of those things I guess.

I love being a mom, I was born to be a mom (most days!) but I have to say that it has gotten to me the last few months that we don't have the support system that all of our other friends do. If we go somewhere, Fenway is with us. If we're invited somewhere that we can't take her to, then we don't go. All of our other friends with children are always talking about doing this and doing that and I always ask " well who has the kids?" - oh my parents or siblings or his parents or siblings or my aunt or uncle or cousing.. and it does make me a little envious some nights that we just don't have that. It not only makes me envious for me, but it breaks my heart for my little girl. My grandparents were such a MAJOR part of my life & I wanted that for her. My grandad didn't miss a SINGLE softball game until I moved to Austin when I was 18.. not a single one. My mom either - She was at every band, cheerleading, soccer, basketball, volleyball, & softball game & tournament that I ever had. I love her so much for that. Fenway WILL have that with me as well. Whatever she chooses to do with her life, I will be there to witness it all & so will Kelvin (as his work schedule allows) but our other family will miss out & I hate that for her. We haven't really figured out a way to handle that situation (thankfully we've got a few years before she really starts understanding it) but I have ALWAYS wanted this big close knit tight family & it just doesn't seem to be working out like I had dreamed it would. Koy (Kelvin's little brother) & Wife Chelsea are great & I love them, but they will be moving to South Carolina in January. My brother & I were never really close & his wife & I are cordial when we're together but not what you would call friends. I have 2 nephews & a niece that I see a couple times a year, but I'm not really close with. I dunno, it's just weird to see where you want to be or what you want vs where you actually are with it all.

On a happy note - Fenway & I went to Kelvin's dad's a week or so ago & ALL the grandkids happened to be there together! Monica (stepmom) got some great pics of them playing: