1. Anger: my dear hubby has worked his tail off for the last year pushing for a job that is coming open this month. He has been told by EVERYONE that he is the front runner for the job. He is competent & well knowledged in the position, he works as much as he possibly can (he's had MAYBE 20 days off this entire year..) he covers for anyone when they need him, & has done everything this company has asked of him. Last month he was sent up to Ohio for a MONTH to learn one of the new machines being implemented at our plant. He was assigned a company credit card and turned loose. No instructions, no budget allotment, no daily allowance.. nothing. To make a long story short - once he got home, he was told that he went over his daily allowance. Then two week AFTER he got home, he was reamed for spending as much as he did & now he is being "black balled" and may not get the job that he has been working so hard for. I AM LIVID. It's like they set him up to fail. How can you not give someone a job that they rightly deserve because of something that doesn't even have to do with the actual job?! Also, after running the numbers together, he actually SAVED them money in the long run. Yes, he went over his daily allowance on some days, but was WAY under others. He came in $700 UNDER BUDGET for the total month that he was gone. But they don't look at that, they look at the daily amount - sounds pretty petty and stupid to me. It's not fair and I am angry for my husband & for our family. He has worked so hard and spend countless days & nights away from us, his family, so that he could secure this position in be better in the long run & now these pricks are trying to take it away from him because of something that they didn't even instruct him on or explain how or what to do. Come on, really?!
2. Frustration: Last Christmas we moved into our family 1920's farm house in Foreman, AR - about 45 minutes away from civilization & both of our jobs. I had big dreams for this house when we moved into it. We ended up having to gut the entire kitchen, pull up all of the carpet, and re-work a lot of the plumbing. I didn't have a kitchen sink from December-July, I was doing dishes in the bathtub, seriously. Our "kitchen" was a microwave and two crock-pots for several months. Thankfully, I found a garage sale sink & Kelvin worked his magic with some ply-wood and we now have half of a working sink, ply-wood "counter tops" and a ply wood kitchen floor. Still no carpet, only 1 working bathroom (thankful for that at least) and our "bedroom" is the front living area.. needless to say, I'm WAY over it! I love the house, but I can't live like this anymore. We have Fenway gated off so that she can't get into the kitchen or bedroom because there are exposed nails/wood/mess & we're crammed into living in half of our house. Our bills are astronomical because all of the windows are the original 1920's piece of glass with no insulation. There are literally cracks and crevices in the seals etc. Kelvin & I have been going back and fourth between saying "f-it" and finding a good rent house in town or spending the money to finish the house. Our decision changes every day. Our mortgage is only $450 a month for a BEAUTIFUL large home, but then our gas to and from work is also $450-500 a month. If we moved into town, our rent would be $850-$1000 and gas would be $250ish. Yesterday I had finally just decided - I love our house, just not in the shape that it is in. I can deal with the drive, it only bothers me some days, but as long as I have a great home to come home too then I'm fine. So, that was decided. Then this morning, Kelvin tells me - I'm gonna talk to a guy about his house in town on Wednesday - MAJOR buzz kill! I don't do well with being in limbo. I'm not a "gray" kinda girl, it's black or white. Make a decision and stick with it. Otherwise I get very stressed & irritated. I need consistency and structure. I need decisions to be made and not be back and fourth, I need a home.. not a house.. a home that I can unwind and relax and feel safe and comfortable in.
3. Elation: Cool weather has FINALLY settled in. This means SOUP, STEWS, AND CROCK POT DELIGHTS! last night I made my first homemade soup of the fall season and it was great! I had been craving chicken Parmesan, but Kelvin switched to nights yesterday and it is hard to do such a detailed dish with a two year old standing at the gate screaming at you! So, I decided to make a Chicken Parmesan Soup.. Here are the results:
A delicious steaming bowl of tomatoey,chickeney,cheesy deliciousness! AND low carb =)
4. Accomplishment: Yesterday was day 1 of my back on LCSF (low carb sugar free) way of eating & I stuck to plan & didn't have a headache!! Today has gone well so far also, so hopefully the transition/detox will be a little easier this time around. I've got Saucy Pesto Chicken going in the crock-pot for tonight to be served with Cauliflower Rice (first time making this..) so we'll see how it turns out!
5. Heartache: A large storm brought this chilly weather to us, and with it was also a tornado that touched down not far from Foreman. The way I drive to work every day, I pass the touch down site. A family was devastated by this unforeseen tornado & my heart and prayers go out to them. The father died, mother is in the hospital with severe injuries, & the 3 children are ok. I know what it is like to lose a father & it is something you never recover from. I am heartsick for this family & find myself questioning God about death and taking people away and so on. It's a very sensitive area for me because of the loss of my dad when I was a child. more on that to come.. please say a prayer for this family & other's that were affected by this storm & force of nature.
-Hug your spouse & your kids, say i love you's, and let those you love know it every single day..
-Sara
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